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35 Things to Ask Your Partner at Every! Single! Stage! of Your Relationship
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I don't care how well you think you know the person you're currently seeing, there's always something new you have yet to discover about them. Maybe it has something to do with their passions. Maybe it has something to do with exactly why they're so obsessed with The Office.

Whatever the case, you should have some solid Qs lined up to ask both during and before jumping head-on into a new relationship. After all, you probably already have a solid list of first date questions, why let it stop there?

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You see, some questions could reveal vital information that may determine just how compatible you really are. And considering you already have some Qs to ask your crush, you also need some for when it's... well, not just a crush anymore.

To help, we've already curated a list of essential questions you should absolutely know about your partner as you progress your relationship—both emotionally and physically. Trust, these are an absolute game changer.

Questions to Ask Before Dating

1. What are you looking for in a relationship?

Before anyone’s feelings can get hurt, for the love of Cardi B, please ask them what they’re looking for.

2. What is your love language?

The answer is yes, you absolutely must take the test to find out if you don't already know.

3. What are your life goals?

Like, what do you do during the hours of the day when you're not swiping on dating apps?

4. What are your thoughts on long-distance dating?

You know, just in case I plan on moving to Canada any time soon.

5. What's your zodiac sign?

No scorpios please. Just kidding. Kind of.

6. What's your ideal first date?

(Please, no hiking).

7. What are your thoughts on who picks up the check?

Gender roles and societal binaries continue are shifting, ya'll.

8. What are your hobbies?

Besides watching Netflix...

9. What are your plans for the future?

Again, besides watching Netflix.

10. Are you emotionally available?

This may seem like a total “duh” moment for some, but seriously, ask it.

11. Are you close to your family?

Like, how many bottles of wine should I bring over when I meet them for the first time?

12. Do you believe in religion?

An obvious, but necessary Q.

13. How often should we communicate?

Once a week? Every day? Every time I eat a chicken nugget that reminds me of you?

Questions to Ask Before You Have Sex

1. Have you been tested?

This question is a must for honest communication about STIs.

2. Do you have birth control?

Condoms, condoms, condoms, my friends.

3. What are your kinks?

We all know some of our favorite kinks, wouldn’t it make things easier if our partners did too?

4. What are your boundaries?

This is a sure-fire way to establish mutual trust and understanding.

5. Are you having sex with other people?

The only way to have clarity is to ask.

6. So...cuddling?

Highly encourage you to establish who will be the lil spoon.

7. Is this "relationship" exclusively for in the bedroom?

Like, are we only here to have sex?

8. What are your favorite positions?

And, hey, if your favorites don’t line up, this is a perfect time to see how well each of you handles compromise.

9. Thoughts on 69ing?

You either love 69ing or hate it, there is seldom an in between.

10. Sex toys?

If a sex toy is necessary for you to achieve orgasm, this would be the time to tell your partner.

11. How do you feel about foreplay?

More specifically: How do you feel about oral sex?

12. Is anal something you'd ever consider?

Just for future reference, you know.

13. Is this a one-night stand?

Imagine how much hurt people would save themselves from if they clarified whether their lil tryst was for one night only or indefinitely available.

14. What's your sex speed?

Some people like to get down and dirty quickly, others like to set the mood.

15. We're using lube, right?

Sometimes it’s for the comfort, sometimes it’s because it’s flavored, and other times, it’s because it just makes sex a whole lot more enjoyable.

Questions to Ask While in a Relationship

1. So, pet names?

*Taylor Swift Voice* Don't call me "baby."

2. Do you want kids?

This is a total deal breaker for some.

3. Are you happy with how often we see each other?

Let's make sure no one feels neglected or smothered.

4. What's your opinion of monogamy?

And maybe throw in a question about polyamory, too, for a temperature check.

5. What are your rules on flirting?

If you know it's going to piss you off if you see them "Like"-ing or commenting on someone's Instagram picture, tell them.

6. What do you consider cheating?

Everyone has a different definition of cheating. It's best to establish what the line is.

7. Do you eventually see yourself getting married?

Some people believe in it, some people don't. You'll want to know whether you're on the same page.

Danielle Broadway is an English Literature MA student at California State University, Long Beach.

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