Just as there are many orientations on the spectrum of sexuality, there can also be orientations within orientations, like greysexuality, which falls within the asexuality spectrum. As Ashely Harris, a dating and relationship coach with BeyondAges.com, explains, greysexual (or graysexual, grey-ace, gray-ace) individuals experience sexual attraction and sexual feelings very rarely—anywhere from a few times in their whole life to anything more frequently but always at a significantly lower rate than average.

Is greysexual the same as asexual?

Greysexuality falls within the asexual spectrum, Harris explains, but it’s not as cut-and-dried as the dictionary definition of asexuality.

It might help to think of greysexual individuals as asexual “for the vast majority of their lives but having infrequent periods where they feel sexual attraction,” Harris adds. “Outside of these rare occurrences,” she adds, “they are virtually identical to asexual individuals.”

What are some signs you may be greysexual?

Harris says there are three common signs greysexual individuals can look for:

Feeling sexual attraction rarely. Outside of the rare occasion of sexual attraction, it’s not something that’s on your mind at all.
Feeling sexual attraction weakly. For greysexual individuals, Harris explains, “it isn’t going from a zero to a nine or ten in terms of sexual attraction, it’s more like going from a zero to a two or three.”
Being unable to determine if you are feeling sexual attraction. With the rarity of sexual attraction plus the weaker state of attraction, it’s no surprise that sexual attraction could also be harder to identify in these cases. Harris explains that it’s common for greysexual individuals to not quite be confident that they are feeling sexual attraction during the instances they do feel, as “these feelings can be so brief and so infrequent that it’s difficult to unpack them.” Greysexuality in Pop Culture

Harris considers Daryl Dixon, played by Norman Reedus, from The Walking Dead to fall inside the spectrum of greysexual. As Harris points out, “The writer of The Walking Dead has stated he views Daryl as ‘somewhat asexual’ but also ‘straight.’”

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Daryl’s greysexuality has even been discussed on the subreddit /asexuality, with asexual folx celebrating more visible representation onscreen (but of course, there could—and should always be more).

“Throughout the story, Daryl doesn’t show any strong evidence of sexual attraction to anyone but does form strong feelings and connections with other members of the group,” says Harris. Therefore, she adds, “it’s a fair guess that since Daryl is somewhat asexual but does have a sexual preference—he does experience sexual attraction but it’s infrequent.”

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Carina Hsieh Sex & Relationships Editor Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. 

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